In India, parenting is often treated less like a responsibility and more like a long-term investment scheme. We pour everything we have—our savings, our gold, and our youth—into our children’s education and marriages.
We tell ourselves it is out of love. But deep down, for many Indian parents, there is an unspoken contract: I sacrificed my today for your tomorrow. Therefore, your tomorrow belongs to me.
This is the Baghban Fallacy. It is the mistaken belief that your children are your pension plan, your health insurance, and your emergency fund all rolled into one.
While this emotional reliance worked in the joint families of the 1980s, applying it in 2026 is a recipe for disaster. Here is why you must stop treating your children as your retirement assets.
About the author: Ajay Pruthi is a fee-only SEBI-registered investment advisor. He can be contacted via his website plnr.in. Ajay is part of the freefincal list of fee-only advisors and fee-only India.
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- The Mathematics of Unfairness
In the past, the cost of living was low. A son earning a government salary could easily support his parents, his wife, and two children.
Today, the Brutal Reality of economics has changed. If your son or daughter earns ₹1 Lakh a month in a metro city like Mumbai or Bangalore, they are not rich. After paying rent (₹35k), school fees, EMI, and groceries, they are barely saving for their own retirement.
If you expect them to send you ₹25,000 a month for your expenses, you are not just taking their money; you are eating into their future. You are forcing them to do exactly what you did—sacrifice their retirement for the previous generation—perpetuating a cycle of poverty.
- Love vs. The ROI Mindset
When you view children as a retirement plan, the relationship shifts from Love to Transaction. Every rupee spent on their education starts looking like a capital investment that needs a Return on Investment (ROI).
When the child wants to pursue a low-paying passion (like art or social work) instead of a high-paying corporate job, the parent feels cheated on their investment. This pressure creates resentment. Your children should visit you because they miss you, not because they owe you a monthly EMI.
- The Dignity Deficit
The most painful scene in the movie Baghban isn’t the separation; it is the loss of dignity. It is Amitabh Bachchan having to ask his son for money to repair his glasses.
Financial dependence kills self-respect. No matter how much your children love you, having to ask, Beta, can I buy new medicines? Or can I book a ticket to a pilgrimage? changes the power dynamic in the house. You go from being the head of the family to a dependent. True dignity in old age comes from the ability to write your own cheque.
- The Retirement Safety Rule
A wise parent loves their children but prepares for the reality that the children might move abroad, lose their jobs, or simply have different priorities. You must follow the cardinal rule of financial survival: Secure your own future before funding their dreams.
- The Mistake: Liquidating your Employee Provident Fund (EPF) or selling your ancestral plot to fund your child’s Master’s degree in the US, hoping they will earn in dollars and take care of you.
- The Solution: Let the child take an Education Loan. If they are capable and employable, they will be able to pay off the loan themselves. If they are not capable of paying the loan, they certainly won’t be capable of supporting you in your old age. Your retirement corpus is your lifeline; never trade it for their degree.
The Bottom Line
If you save for yourself, you are not being a bad parent. You are ensuring that your children can live their lives without the constant anxiety of funding yours.
Love your children unconditionally. Support them emotionally. But for your bread, butter, and medicines—trust only your own investments.
Remember: In the movie Baghban, the parents were lucky—Amitabh Bachchan wrote a bestselling book at an old age and became a millionaire overnight, solving all their problems. You may not be that lucky. In real life, there is no guarantee of a Bollywood ending. Plan for the reality where no book saves you.
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